the pretty one with half of me...believe me the pic is better this way =)
On the 15th of January 2005 i wrote this in a blog entry.
"i juz want someone who i can have a nice argument with...totally relative to the fact that we complement each other and do stupid things that ur only allowed to do once and with one person only."
the person i was talkin abt...although i didnt know it at the time is now in dubai. living a pretty exciting life flying all over the world (except the US cos she hasnt made her visa yet...hmph).
i was readin thru my old blog entries and i wonder why i havent written as much since i met her. well in the space of a year...she became what my blog was.. i.e the place i let all my thoughts filter thru. a secondary part of me that helps me get to grips with life in general and not go beserk and kill someone. so i never needed to write here like i used to cos i channeled everything to her...and since she left, i juz couldnt bring myself to start writing again cos it meant revisiting the past...a past without her.
so baby...thats why i havent written here in a long long time, but this entry is for you
since she left for dubai...there's been a void here that kinda gets filled everytime i talk to her online and see her on the webcam. but since she left, its been pretty boring...and yeah..sad too.
so she came back last week...she bought her way here cos she had a flight in jakarta. and man...did i need this boost.
everything was exactly as i remembered it...the enthusiastic stories, the way she reacts when i say something nice then spoil it with somethin sarcastic..which i only do to incite the said reaction, the window shopping at supermarkets, the late night walks and just talkin abt people, the past, the future all the while savouring the moment. it was nice. very very nice.
so now she's back in dubai. but its only 7 weeks till she's back here and boy i can't hardly wait. its been hard but i always think about how hard it is for her...being away from her family, friends....being away from a life she's been living for the past 21 years.
i am only part of her life....a big part i'd like to think but i'm always realistic. things are good now...and i'm happy even though she's so far away...but i'm laying this down here and now. i don't think anyone has ever had such a positive impact on me before. i've always been cynical of life and people in general and while she has proven herself to be only human, she has also shown me how truly good a person can be and how much i can truly be loved by one other than my own family. i can only hope that the future holds plans for us both, together ...but i am more than happy to live in the now...taking it day by day like we always have =)
so let's beckon nov 5th...its gonna be tough not spending raya here but stay strong and you'll be rewarded with a very very happy boyfriend who'll pander to all you whimsical food cravings cos he's fat and likes to eat.
thank you sheereen isfahani fahmy
