On a more personal note
you cant force someone to do something they dont like. like how u cant get anyone to fall in love with you or get someone to give u a million dollars willingly in exchange for nothing. you also cant force a friend from drifting away if he wants to.
i've always been a drifter in my younger days especially in school. i never stuck to one group but i could always get along with people pretty much . the friendships i formed back then were cool. i still meet up with the people from my past albeitly very very sparingly but i still have fond memories of them. its just that these wont be the people i call the moment i feel like chilling out and stuff like that. maybe to an extent i never really fit in. my thoughts were rarely in sync with them so while we got along well superficially it never went deeper.
meeting the people from dpa and tk. that changed everything. i realised that these were people i relate to. we shared the same passion (some stronger than others) and we spoke the same language. i've met some really cool people through here and some i consider my closest friends now.
poly. i got along fine with most. (i'm almost like switzerland that way). some very interesting and intriguing characters entered my life and i made a few close buddies. some have drifted apart these 3 years. some by my choice, others i dont have a clue. but i'll remember them no less. is some ways..these have been the worst and the best years in my life...the people i shared them with got to count for something rite?
why am i writing this. these past few weeks i've been thinking about friendship a lot. have i been a good enough friend? its kinda sad when a friend u consider to be closer to u than ur own brother starts drifting away and you dont know the reason. i'd probabli feel relieved if it was actually cos of something i did and for all i know (or rather don't) it jolly well could be...but as it is i'm clueless and i dunno wat to do. a profound sense of loss and regret. thats what i felt. still, u can try all u want but.....
u cant force anyone to do anything.
unless u have a really big gun or a really big gun.
i aint got no crystal ball...
if i had a million dollars i'd
i'd spend it all.
