barely breathing
problem:
waking up tmr morning is probably impossible.
solution:
don't sleep
method:
post on your blog.
question:
post what?!?
do you guys really want to know what i did today? i mean...do you guys even want to know what i'm doing awake at this ungodly hour? will it make you feel better if i told you every single detail of what my life was like the past 24 hours or the past week? (i woke up at 11 and watched maria full of grace then went to work, then went to watch a rehearsal then had supper, then came home and realised my life sucked...happy?) chances are the answer is no....you're probably reading, waiting for something juicy or scandalous or sex-related to pop up,( i know i do when i read other blogs....i once read a blog about this girl with horrendous english. it was basically talking about her sexual adventures only she juz keeps saying she " goes with the flow" when we know she means she juz had a fuck and was shocked - i didnt know someone with english as bad as hers would even attempt blogging.. in english. it was really bad, but i kept on reading) .
or maybe you think i got interesting things to say.
well for those who want to know, i'm supposed to be doing my cds law project but i havent started. i cant seem to get started. its due tmr at 5. like harold says it: fuck
fuck
fuck
fuck
fuck
and i juz finished all my fags.
fuck
fuck
fuck
fuck
well that aint so bad cos i can juz go to 7 eleven. but the law project = fuck
so i decide to forfeit the 25 percent of my grade and blog. why?
probably cos i fagged all my ciggies away and i cant be bothered to go out and buy a new pack. what is it with people and smoking anyways. do you think smokers really believe that smoking doesnt come with its price?
we juz want to do it so let us. i mean i am perfectly ok with people i know, people i care for and who i know cares for me, telling me that smoking isnt good for you (oh really? i thought that was juz a phase). what i dun like is people i DON'T know telling me what i should or should not do. i once had this guy who i can safely say and thankfully profess as an acquaintance in school coming up to me and making small talk. fine. then he went on to ask me what cigarettes i smoked. fine...i tell him. then he says "you really should quit lah dib, those things will kill ya"
erm hello? you my mom ah? if you were, no problemo..you have the divine right to say shit like that....i mean i have to give her credit what...9 months and a really big head...i would be worried too if after all that trouble the small thing with a really big head gave me 19 years and a few months ago, he now decided to fill his lungs with shit and smoke his way to an early grave. but even my mother doesnt say much. the closest thing she says is, "harga rokok dah naik dib...." translation - cigarettes prices are up. in that one sentence, i know enough that my mom loves me...and she knows tat telling me that is enough to make me feel guilty. enough to maybe contemplate quitting...for maybe half an hour? ok lah...until the next day when i'm out of the house.
so how did this the flow come to smoking? i don't know. do you? i bet you don't cos ur probli gonna be reading this once and then leave. or maybe you wont even finish reading it cos its so long. but then again you probably will end up reading it when you come again and realise i havent updated. so no one will know...but if you do tell me k cos i seriously don't have a clue.
i'm juz buying time before the pantomime that leads me to the drink with lime.
a'level results tmr. hope she does ok, really man i'm serious, i even msgd her good luck. then she can fuck off. cos when i hear or read abt the results all i can think of is her. and i havent thought of her for a long time. i'm not bitter, you're probably going "ya rite". but seriously i'm not. there's no point in it. i've coped without her in my life at all and thats cool. previously i've succumbed to every single time i missed being with someone, now i juz want every trace of her to be gone from my life and the a levels are the last thing standing in the way. cos i was with her through the initial stages of it and now its gonna be over and i can push the chapter of me and her a lil deeper. i don't need anyone right now cos i know how its like to be with someone and still be alone. so being alone is probably better than that. still. i hope she does ok. this probably doesnt interest any of you so if ur still reading...typical s'porean - kay poh
the changing mind - friend or foe?
