i will never be untrue

i will never be untrue

i realised that sometimes i say things that may hurt people. i mean i don't mean to..i just find it hard to pretend to be happy with things all the time.

i'm not the most confrontational guy and i can take things as they are most of the time...thats why if i find that i dont agree with something, i'll say it, especially if it means something to me. if it hurts someone too bad...at least i'm not smiling in front of you while i bitch behind your back rite?

well if you thought that was better then you're wrong. cos ppl are too stupid to realize and understand that the truth hurts sometimes and rather than be too bummed out by it..u should start improving or changing IF you're that bothered by it.

if not the ignore it and continue living in bliss...cos its not worth it to be fretting over something someone said about you especially if it hurts and its true.

If i had to do it all again

If i had to do it all again

sometimes your best just isnt good enough. and sometimes you have to accept that you just arent good enough. and sometimes no matter how hard you try, you'll never be good enough.

and this..my friends, i've just realised is my greatest fear.

reaching the apex of my abilities. when no matter how hard you try, nothing changes.

and i realise too..this is the reason i dont get close to certain people. cos i dont wanna disappoint when the time comes for them to deservedly expect more.

this is it now. i'm gonna start sniffing UHU glue and escape into the heights of tortured, temporary, tittillating heaven.

M-m-m-m-maureen

M-m-m-m-maureen

aku penat. sepenat penatnya. i need a break. but when u enjoy doing the things that make you penat..its worth it right?

well..update. i've been pretty good these past few weeks. been hanging out a lot especially the last couple of days and although its added to my penatness..its been fun. but i feel like there's something missing.

maybe its just my inability to feel secure enough with what i have. maybe its my super finicky personality that keeps changing its tastes and wants. maybe its my indecisiveness when it comes to the things that matter.

when it comes to work or theatre...i know exactly what i have to do. but when it comes to everything else i cant decide. i know i want to have fun but is fun worth having at the expense of something more definite?

hmm...

ya i think it is.

and i know my blogs been getting so very the mendak. nothing inspires me to write anymore so i resort to these kinda posts which if i want to be honest are here for the sake of writing. so maybe i should just stop. what say you?

you don't know what you do to me
i know you wont be true to me
the least that you could do for me
is keep it to yourself.

blurry.
when you cant sleep at night
when you start thinking

blurry..
the thought that trancends obsession
the thought that makes you act silly

blurry...
confusion
confusion of the terminally undecided.

i'm afraid i'll let this go without ever having it.
and my solution? smoke more, think less.
why do i always digress? ....permanently

tell me something so typical

tell me something so typical

good things come to those who wait?
apparently i said this once.

the one who preaches disbelieves.

good things come to those who do something. if its not coming then you're doing it wrong.
OR..you never really wanted it in the first place.

so now i'm undecided. heh

do i want what is good for me? the need for something you always thought you needed but realised you just wanted could really be something you actually needed. make sense?

so do you want me? or, do you need me? do you even know you want/need me?

probably not.

i know one thing though...i love my cats. and my mom and dad....despite the lack of show.

i also like cake. and cigarettes. and chicks.

i spent too much time singing with a headache.

but i had fun guys, pit, den...k box lagi ah!