The Wisdom of a Fool Won't Set You Free
Have you ever felt alone? I mean really alone. Despite the fact that people surround you and your friends still call you. When you find solace in smoking alone in your dark room contemplating the uncontemplateable and wishing you were Mark Wahlberg in 'Boogie Nights'. I have (not the last one, thats stretching it a lil)...and although I guess I could blame it on zura(poor girl)...I doubt it was ever the case...at least recently. Its just the plain fact that I don't find any purpose doing the things I once enjoyed. MRMK was tiring, very tiring, after awhile I guess I was just going thru the motions. 6 months of internship and rehearsal also took a lot out of this old boy. Plus I used to enjoy spending time alone at home but that ain't the case anymore. I just feel better out of the house, with a few good friends, yet I still feel empty.
Yes boys and gals...thats why I've been hanging out at SB Thomson Plaza..wit the cool ppl ther..at the prata house wit my dear old cuzzin Ina and the man bitch Shawal. Yes thats why I always look fwd to seeing Anwar and Izad (although apologies are in order...things getting bz lah) and yes thats why I dread going home to a house devoid of the company of ppl I relate to....bcos all this helps me stop thinking bout the bad stuff...and it keeps me from dialling her number (not to worry though, the urge is slowly fading)
I'll stop blaming it on her. You can't hurry love or in my case you can't grow a tree out of rotten wood( then again you grow trees from seeds). She's a closed chapter, an archived entry...a mouldy tape.
I'm blaming it on the imminent enforced end to my youth, yes the great institution that turns every jcboy, poly punk, pondan, mat tapered boblok, mummy's boy, ah beng and arrogant mr. know-it-alls who are so smug they somehow think they're better than everyone else(despite the fact that they show off due to their own insecurities and non-existent sex lives <---[probli not gonna change anytime soon without the help of a certain district in serangoon]) into a "MAN"...(or a bigger loser/motherfucker. I've always hated show-offs...esp condescending ones and I muz say that wherever I go (TP) I bump into one....the devil in me has to be surpressed man..4 more months...juz relax rite?) Ok..back to the subject matter...I mean half of me is really looking fwd to NS. The stories I've heard, good or bad, I rather juz go thru it and experience it myself thank you.I've always been a doer...not a listen and go "Wow I wish I was doing that", I jus do it. But the fact that there's so much I'm gonna miss out on..its scary. So so scary.
I know where I stand...there's so much for me to learn, MRMK was a great experience, not necessarily acting-wise but at least I've got that under my belt. I juz want to continue the learning curve...but what NS is gonna do is stop my progress for 2 years....2 whole years. In 2 years...anything ..anything can happen. Think of how much I can otherwise learn...juz think.
Theatre aside...I juz got a freelance job at Disney. Obviously I'm elated...enjoyed working there and I definitely didnt mind coming back. But for how long will it last. Once this gig is over I'm thrown into NS, after 2 years will they still remember me? Its a bitch man...but this female dog I've got to get over. I've got to put my life on the line for a country that has given me life (ok, just trying to sound patriotic....its something new to me). This long-winded excuse for time-wasting boils down to my point...
And that is...........What's wrong with you Adib?? A perfectly neutral person reading this would probabli tell me to stop worrying and juz enjoy life till then rite? Well before you open your mouth or move your fingers...STOP! Cos thats exactly what I'm gonna do. Bring on the gals, the ciggies and the music. I'm ready.
Moral of the story kids, don't do drugs...they fry your brain and make you expose your undies in public. Unless your wearing sexy, preferably black and very tiny pieces, dont bother cos it jus reinstates the fact that you ain't getting any ...and we guys dun like a cold turkey. Sex is a beautiful thing that you shouldnt flaunt unless you're gonna be a willing participant, sekali u get one of those species I was talkin bout earlier...ha..mampus kau...syphillis comes a calling. I'm not even making sense to myself. Okay...I digress...the moral of the story is don't overthink things, juz get yourself high as a kite and drink coke lite. Serious..gua tak bedek jack.
aku pulang...tanpa dendam, ku terima kekalahanku
aku pulang...tanpa dendam, ku salutkan kemenanganmu
